Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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