haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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