Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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