he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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