sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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