We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
