And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
