She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
