I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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