That's intense
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
