im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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