Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I stole a fireplace last night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
