my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
