Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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