The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
