She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I came so hard my ears popped.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize