My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
