he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
