Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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