quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
