real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
