Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
