Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis? http://tfl.nu/6d0w
  Replies (7) Good night (819) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!? (1-805): Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit http://tfl.nu/hqm2
  Replies (23) Good night (518) Bad night (2201)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila. http://tfl.nu/7qws
  Replies (15) Good night (7747) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud http://tfl.nu/54kw
  Replies (11) Good night (4909) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better. http://tfl.nu/ybcl
  Replies (8) Good night (4051) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  idk, I had a turtle in mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat? (1-941): idk, I had a turtle in mine. http://tfl.nu/ag7m
  Replies (30) Good night (3716) Bad night (5437)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message. http://tfl.nu/jwe9
  Replies (19) Good night (9600) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic (1-402): i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities. http://tfl.nu/psst
  Replies (70) Good night (8029) Bad night (1648)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on http://tfl.nu/bnty
  Replies (17) Good night (10365) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'? http://tfl.nu/3ece
  Replies (12) Good night (2379) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): the best sex is "duke just lost" sex. http://tfl.nu/zw67
  Replies (33) Good night (6240) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse http://tfl.nu/neow
  Replies (18) Good night (3511) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15 http://tfl.nu/scbj
  Replies (7) Good night (2596) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award. http://tfl.nu/86ud
  Replies (3) Good night (1328) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive http://tfl.nu/ad0s
  Replies (0) Good night (1029) Bad night (580)

Randomize