But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance