Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Did we have sex last night?

(1-706): View more from Georgia

I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.

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(706): Did we have sex last night? (1-706): I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me. http://tfl.nu/f9pg

Replies (16) Good night (694) Bad night (6271)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.

(201): View more from New Jersey

I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.

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(301): Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable. (201): I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around. http://tfl.nu/syx6

Replies (44) Good night (4230) Bad night (733)
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(858): View more from California

I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

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(858): I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street. http://tfl.nu/fk7f

Replies (35) Good night (8528) Bad night (753)
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(618): View more from Illinois

we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning

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(618): we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning http://tfl.nu/44lc

Replies (3) Good night (2928) Bad night (1364)
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(703): View more from Virginia

had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level

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(703): had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3h42

Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (3849)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.

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(609): I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds. http://tfl.nu/dlpp

Replies (5) Good night (1412) Bad night (949)
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(325): View more from Texas

It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.

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(325): It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch. http://tfl.nu/t9k5

Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (1156)
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(315): View more from New York

While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects

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(315): While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects http://tfl.nu/c75x

Replies (3) Good night (1402) Bad night (475)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.

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(602): I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets. http://tfl.nu/wv2q

Replies (10) Good night (1287) Bad night (466)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.

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(937): Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you. http://tfl.nu/6dat

Replies (3) Good night (1982) Bad night (380)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor

(203): View more from Connecticut

WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!

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(203): Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor (203): WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?! http://tfl.nu/dwzz

Replies (5) Good night (596) Bad night (363)
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(312): View more from Illinois

guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.

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(312): guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them. http://tfl.nu/b0nn

Replies (4) Good night (862) Bad night (314)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.

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(262): Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle. http://tfl.nu/lpt1

Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (305)
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(408): View more from California

he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...

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(408): he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit... http://tfl.nu/hynz

Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (184)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch

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(505): I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch http://tfl.nu/ri64

Replies (3) Good night (946) Bad night (239)

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