As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My bed smells like the plague
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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