Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
