Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
