Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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