I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
