guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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