I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
