wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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