It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
