Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
