Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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