I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
