im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
