We won't sleep together?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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