We won't sleep together?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
