goodnight i made you a song goodbye
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
