Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
