I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
