I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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