im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
