Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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