The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
