i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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