She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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