Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
