this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
