She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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