Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
