You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
