"it" just moved
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
