apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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