it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
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