put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
