I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you had me at cake vodka
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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