i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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