i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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